If He Doesn't Kill You, She Will

Boy: My mum is going to kill me...she goes...she goes... if you get in that car with him and he drives fast you will never ride with him again....so he goes up my road at like SIXTY MILES AN HOUR...

A Question and a Reaction

Blond Girl: Do you think my boyfriend is gay?
Brunette:  He is....he is when he's with me.
Blond Girl : I nearly wet myself.

Don't Knock Yourself

Short Boy:  She'll probably change her mind when she sees me in person.
Tall Boy: No, she's already seen you.
Short Boy: oh...is she the one in the red skirt....how tall is she?

Where's My Invite?

Fat Friend:  So at the moment I'm stuck in the 'friend zone'.  The FRIEND zone.
Skinny Friend: Yeah.
Fat Friend:  But just wait til Toby's party..........then I won't be held responsible.
Fat Friend: I'm just saying.
Skinny Friend: Why wasn't I invited to Toby's party?
Fat Friend:  Dunno.
Skinny Friend: Everybody else is invited.
Fat Friend:  Luke's not.
Skinny Friend:  yeah....welll....
Fat Friend:  Luke tried to invite himself.........he was going......hey Toby....when's the party.
Skinny Friend: Luke's a knobhead.

In Dreams

Friend: Why would you chose Cheryl COLE?
Dreamer: It was a DREAM.

Fiiirrrreee

Boy: ...everytime I'm around Megan...I swear.........there's like....there's FIRE.
Friend:..yeah, like...
Boy: The thing is...the thing is.. she's... she's...

Old News

Blond: You know Gavin.
Friend: Yes
Blond: He's gay.
Friend: I know.
Blond: He has a boyfriend.
Friend:  I KNOW.

HOW are you?

Woman on Phone: I'm in a really bad mood now....Would you rather I not tell you?...No....I'm just in a really bad mood.

WHY?

Girl on Phone: Why Kieren?.....Why Kieren?...Why Kieren?....Why Kieren though?....It's a......It's a thing

I Really Don't Know What I'd Do

Girl: What would you do if someone gave you a cup with powder in and told you to add milk?
Girl: What would you do?

Well, That Was Stupid

Woman on phone: I gave him 90 quid.  He said 'would mind paying this for me?'. And now he won't give it back because we're no longer together.

I'll Show Her

Blond: She's so arrogant.
Brunette: High and Mighty.
Blond: Definitely.
Brunette: I really can't stand her.
Blond: She really does my head in.
Brunette: I hope I have a better job than her when I'm her age.

The Sad Truth

Romantic Girl: When you say something really romantic and he says 'Awww, me too.' Does that mean he really means it?
True Friend: Probably not.
Romantic Girl: That's what I thought.

Something Special

Man on Phone: Maybe...maybe...maybe a pair of trousers to wear underneath to put your wallet in...AWESOME....not as hot as you expect..That would be something special.