Is He Or Isn't He?

Girl 1: Is that his laugh?
Girl 2: no
Girl 1: that's good because I was going to say he just got a lot less attractive.  He's gay anyway.
Girl 2: I know you say that
Girl 1: He is.
Girl 1: He IS.
Girl 2: You said that about Ryan too.  Your gaydar is way off.
Girl 1: My gaydar is...is...I was right about my dad when I said he was gay when I was eight...
Girl 2: yeah, well...you are way off with Ryan.
Girl 1: I don't think so.  I think he'll be a late bloomer.
Girl 2: He is not gay
Girl 1: He is
Girl 2: is not
Girl 1: is
Girl 2: is not
Girl 1: I reckon he'll have a wife and kids and then...
Girl 2: NO, he is not

Maybe You Should Work On Your Need To Share Personal Information

Co-worker: Hi, how are you?
Customer: I'm fine. I'm okay....you know.
Co-worker: good
Customer: I'm having counselling.
Co-worker: Yes.
Customer: I'm having counselling.
Co-worker: Yes.........you're studying that, aren't you?
Customer: Yes. I am. But I'm also having counselling. I need it. I need counselling. I do.

Umm, OK. Now Can You Pay For Your Coffee?

Me: Hi, What's your drink?
Customer: Hmmm
Me: What's your drink?
Customer: I've shrunk
Co-worker: Sorry?
Customer: I've shrunk...I've shrunk an inch and a half.  I've lost an inch and a half.
Me: Oh.
Co-worker: Oh, dear.  That does happen.
Customer:  Does it?
Me: hmm
Co-worker: Yes, it does.  Maybe it's your back
Customer: I do have trouble with my back. I'm supposed to see the consultant.  But if they want to to do surgury I'm not.  I'm cancelling it because it's too dangerous.
Co-worker: Oh no.  If THEY think it's too dangerous.  Then it must be.  That must be it.
Customer.  Well, it's since my complete hysterectomy.  Maybe that's it.  Maybe that's made me lose an inch and a half.
Me: maybe.  80p please.
Co-worker: OH, that must be it.
Customer:  I'm not happy.  I'm not happy at all.
Me: Well, it happens.
Customer:  Does it?
Me: Yes, when we get older.  We all shrink.
Customer: Do we?
Co-worker: Yes, that's true.
Me:  80p?
Customer:  I'm not happy.  I'm really not.

Up In Smoke

Dopey Boy: ...as soon as we started smoking it...we were just all sitting down...yeah, we were all sitting down....and I stood up..and as soon as I stood up my ears started ringing...yeah...my ears just started ringing

Oh, Dear

Worried Girl: He's not going to be pleased with me.
Worried Girl: He's not going to be pleased with me.
Friend: No
Worried Girl: I still have time to get the pill though.
Worried Girl: What day is it?
Worried Girl: um...Sunday....
Friend: SHHHHHH.

Thanks For Sharing

Boy: I hardly have any hair under my arms.

Tattoo Boy

Tatoo boy: but the one that really hurt was the one on my winky.
Other boy: oh?
Tatoo boy: Yeah...I have Porn Star tattooed on it.
Other boy: REALLY?
Tatoo boy: Yeah...it says PORN on the one end and then has a star.