True, But Not Polite To Mention

Boy: You do have a weird freaky stare...Do you agree?....You have a weird freaky stare.

Strike Fast

Smiley Boy:  I had to strike as fast as I could.  I have learned a few skills, Jack.

Pass It On

Odd Boy: Pass it on.  It does matter.

A Blue Tattoo Speaks For Itself

Girl: .....I think he's a bit gay
Friend: He DOES have a blue tattoo.
Other Friend: I don't even think he's that good looking.

Maybe You Shouldn't Have Listened

Girl on phone: You told me to prank you.... you told me to prank you.....you told me to prank you....why are you talking over me?......You told me to prank you and I did......Why are you doing this?

Umm, OK. Now Can You Pay For Your Coffee?

Me: Hi, What's your drink?
Customer: Hmmm
Me: What's your drink?
Customer: I've shrunk
Co-worker: Sorry?
Customer: I've shrunk...I've shrunk an inch and a half.  I've lost an inch and a half.
Me: Oh.
Co-worker: Oh, dear.  That does happen.
Customer:  Does it?
Me: hmm
Co-worker: Yes, it does.  Maybe it's your back
Customer: I do have trouble with my back. I'm supposed to see the consultant.  But if they want to to do surgury I'm not.  I'm cancelling it because it's too dangerous.
Co-worker: Oh no.  If THEY think it's too dangerous.  Then it must be.  That must be it.
Customer.  Well, it's since my complete hysterectomy.  Maybe that's it.  Maybe that's made me lose an inch and a half.
Me: maybe.  80p please.
Co-worker: OH, that must be it.
Customer:  I'm not happy.  I'm not happy at all.
Me: Well, it happens.
Customer:  Does it?
Me: Yes, when we get older.  We all shrink.
Customer: Do we?
Co-worker: Yes, that's true.
Me:  80p?
Customer:  I'm not happy.  I'm really not.

SOIRees?

Odd Boy:...........soirees and that....

WHY?

Girl on Phone: Why Kieren?.....Why Kieren?...Why Kieren?....Why Kieren though?....It's a......It's a thing

I Really Don't Know What I'd Do

Girl: What would you do if someone gave you a cup with powder in and told you to add milk?
Girl: What would you do?

Something Special

Man on Phone: Maybe...maybe...maybe a pair of trousers to wear underneath to put your wallet in...AWESOME....not as hot as you expect..That would be something special.

How To Tell The Difference

Girl on Phone: And she's got a mole on her face and I haven't.
Girl on Phone: What?
Girl on Phone: A fin?
Girl on Phone: yes
Girl on Phone: yes

Me Either

Blond Girl: I don't like Godzilla. She does my head in.
Brunette: Mine too.

Let's Do It!

Foreign Man: *hands me stuff*
Foreign Man: Let's do it! OK!
Me: What did you say?
Foreign Man: That's OK to say! Right?
Me: No.
Me: No. Don't say that.
Me: Don't ever say that ever again. To anybody.