Thursday, 29 April 2010

You Are What You Drink, Apparently

Latte Drinker: A large latte.
Coffee Drinker: Why don't you drink coffee, you big homo?
Latte Drinker: Latte is coffee.
Coffee Drinker: No, it isn't. A LARGE LATTE.
Latte Drinker: A large latte.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

You Know Aaron?

Brunette: You Know Aaron?
Blonde: Your BOYFRIEND?
Brunette: Well....yes...but not for long.

Plotting Revenge

Angry Girl: I'm getting as much evidence as I can now.

Angry Girl: I'm just gonna shove it in Kelly's face.

An Email From Eleanor

Man: I got an email from Eleanor this morning.
Woman: Eleanor?
Man: She said she was disappointed that she felt ignored.

Monday, 26 April 2010

Who Were YOU Talking About?

Boy 1: I think we're talking about the wrong one.
Boy 2: I know exactly who you're talking about.
Boy 1: Is it the one who just walked past us?
Boy 2: Yes
Boy 1. She's alright.

Thanks For Sharing

Boy: I hardly have any hair under my arms.

Monday, 19 April 2010

Weird AND Creepy

Creepy Boy: In future don't make jokes about people's friends dying.
Normal Boy: *confused look*
Creepy Boy: you shouldn't make jokes about people's friends.
Normal Boy: What are you on about?
Creepy Boy: About seven weekes ago. About seven or eight weeks ago you made a joke about Ed. You made a joke about Ed had died.
Normal Boy: I never said that.
Creepy Body: You made a joke
Normal Boy: I never said that.
Creepy Boy: You did. And now he's dead.
Normal Boy: WHAT?
Creepy Boy: He's dead.
Normal Boy: No, he isn't
Creepy Boy. He is.
Normal Boy: I've known Ed for ten years. I know him really well. He's not dead.
Creepy Boy: In future you should know that you're.... You should know.
Creepy Boy: *leaves*
Me: That was creepy.
Normal Boy: It was!
Me: Do you know him?
Normal Boy: NO!
Me: You should phone Ed though.
Normal Boy: I'm GOING to.

Tell Us How Many Times

Blond Girl: Do you know how many times he's cheated on her?
Other Blond Girl: YES!
Blond Girl: Do you know how many times?

Thursday, 1 April 2010

You Like Me, Don't You?

Stalker: You see what good mates we've become, don't you
Stalkee: What do you mean?
Stalker: You don't get on this well with Chelsea.
Stalkee: hmmm
Stalker: I don't get all grumpy like her, do I?