Thursday, 31 March 2011

Like a Club

Girl: .......they're all virgins.....they're ALL virgins....

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

How Low Can You Go?

Silly Girl: And he was like you can bend over a little bit...a little bit.. and I was like then I'd hurt my back and not my knees and I was like then I'd need a back rub and he was like I need a back rub.............OK, come here then...and he was like what...and I was like come here then...come over here.

Umm, OK. Now Can You Pay For Your Coffee?

Me: Hi, What's your drink?
Customer: Hmmm
Me: What's your drink?
Customer: I've shrunk
Co-worker: Sorry?
Customer: I've shrunk...I've shrunk an inch and a half.  I've lost an inch and a half.
Me: Oh.
Co-worker: Oh, dear.  That does happen.
Customer:  Does it?
Me: hmm
Co-worker: Yes, it does.  Maybe it's your back
Customer: I do have trouble with my back. I'm supposed to see the consultant.  But if they want to to do surgury I'm not.  I'm cancelling it because it's too dangerous.
Co-worker: Oh no.  If THEY think it's too dangerous.  Then it must be.  That must be it.
Customer.  Well, it's since my complete hysterectomy.  Maybe that's it.  Maybe that's made me lose an inch and a half.
Me: maybe.  80p please.
Co-worker: OH, that must be it.
Customer:  I'm not happy.  I'm not happy at all.
Me: Well, it happens.
Customer:  Does it?
Me: Yes, when we get older.  We all shrink.
Customer: Do we?
Co-worker: Yes, that's true.
Me:  80p?
Customer:  I'm not happy.  I'm really not.

Monday, 21 March 2011

All About Shoes

Big Boy: ..he had these plimsoles..but not...not shoes...but plimsoles.
Tiny Boy: For wearing around the house..
Cool Boy: My girlfriend's DAD has those.


Odd Boy:...........soirees and that....

Friday, 11 March 2011

If He Doesn't Kill You, She Will

Boy: My mum is going to kill me...she goes...she goes... if you get in that car with him and he drives fast you will never ride with him he goes up my road at like SIXTY MILES AN HOUR...

Thursday, 10 March 2011

A Question and a Reaction

Blond Girl: Do you think my boyfriend is gay?
Brunette:  He is....he is when he's with me.
Blond Girl : I nearly wet myself.

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Don't Knock Yourself

Short Boy:  She'll probably change her mind when she sees me in person.
Tall Boy: No, she's already seen you.
Short Boy: she the one in the red tall is she?