Thursday 31 March 2011
Tuesday 29 March 2011
How Low Can You Go?
Silly Girl: And he was like you can bend over a little bit...a little bit.. and I was like then I'd hurt my back and not my knees and I was like then I'd need a back rub and he was like I need a back rub.............OK, come here then...and he was like what...and I was like come here then...come over here.
Umm, OK. Now Can You Pay For Your Coffee?
Me: Hi, What's your drink?
Customer: Hmmm
Me: What's your drink?
Customer: I've shrunk
Co-worker: Sorry?
Customer: I've shrunk...I've shrunk an inch and a half. I've lost an inch and a half.
Me: Oh.
Co-worker: Oh, dear. That does happen.
Customer: Does it?
Me: hmm
Co-worker: Yes, it does. Maybe it's your back
Customer: I do have trouble with my back. I'm supposed to see the consultant. But if they want to to do surgury I'm not. I'm cancelling it because it's too dangerous.
Co-worker: Oh no. If THEY think it's too dangerous. Then it must be. That must be it.
Customer. Well, it's since my complete hysterectomy. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's made me lose an inch and a half.
Me: maybe. 80p please.
Co-worker: OH, that must be it.
Customer: I'm not happy. I'm not happy at all.
Me: Well, it happens.
Customer: Does it?
Me: Yes, when we get older. We all shrink.
Customer: Do we?
Co-worker: Yes, that's true.
Me: 80p?
Customer: I'm not happy. I'm really not.
Customer: Hmmm
Me: What's your drink?
Customer: I've shrunk
Co-worker: Sorry?
Customer: I've shrunk...I've shrunk an inch and a half. I've lost an inch and a half.
Me: Oh.
Co-worker: Oh, dear. That does happen.
Customer: Does it?
Me: hmm
Co-worker: Yes, it does. Maybe it's your back
Customer: I do have trouble with my back. I'm supposed to see the consultant. But if they want to to do surgury I'm not. I'm cancelling it because it's too dangerous.
Co-worker: Oh no. If THEY think it's too dangerous. Then it must be. That must be it.
Customer. Well, it's since my complete hysterectomy. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's made me lose an inch and a half.
Me: maybe. 80p please.
Co-worker: OH, that must be it.
Customer: I'm not happy. I'm not happy at all.
Me: Well, it happens.
Customer: Does it?
Me: Yes, when we get older. We all shrink.
Customer: Do we?
Co-worker: Yes, that's true.
Me: 80p?
Customer: I'm not happy. I'm really not.
Monday 21 March 2011
All About Shoes
Big Boy: ..he had these shoes....like plimsoles..but not...not plimsoles...like shoes...but plimsoles.
Tiny Boy: For wearing around the house..
Cool Boy: My girlfriend's DAD has those.
Tiny Boy: For wearing around the house..
Cool Boy: My girlfriend's DAD has those.
Friday 11 March 2011
If He Doesn't Kill You, She Will
Boy: My mum is going to kill me...she goes...she goes... if you get in that car with him and he drives fast you will never ride with him again....so he goes up my road at like SIXTY MILES AN HOUR...
Thursday 10 March 2011
A Question and a Reaction
Blond Girl: Do you think my boyfriend is gay?
Brunette: He is....he is when he's with me.
Blond Girl : I nearly wet myself.
Brunette: He is....he is when he's with me.
Blond Girl : I nearly wet myself.
Tuesday 1 March 2011
Don't Knock Yourself
Short Boy: She'll probably change her mind when she sees me in person.
Tall Boy: No, she's already seen you.
Short Boy: oh...is she the one in the red skirt....how tall is she?
Tall Boy: No, she's already seen you.
Short Boy: oh...is she the one in the red skirt....how tall is she?
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